Karen Janas Counselling, Coaching & Training Blog

JK Rowling: The fringe benefits of failure | Video on TED.com

2011-07-18T05:57:00.000-07:00

JK Rowling: The fringe benefits of failure | Video on TED.com

Fantastic speech from JK Rowling on the benefits of failure and imagination. It was a speech from the 2008 to Harvard graduates but the message applies to us all!

I hope you dance | Mental Healthy

2011-06-24T09:07:00.000-07:00

An incredible story. An inspirational journey and a heartfelt testimonial.

I hope you dance | Mental Healthy

Want a More Fulfilling Career? Stop Saying You're Fine | Psychology Today

2011-06-24T03:57:00.000-07:00

In the film, The Italian Job, FINE is referred to as 'Freaked Out Insecure Neurotic and Emotional'! I have always found this to be a very apt! Whenever I am merely fine, if I look underneath I am actually the opposite. The article below discusses facing the truth as a doorway to getting what we want and changing our situation. This is further elaborated in a new book, Stop Saying You're Fine' by Mel Robbins.

Want a More Fulfilling Career? Stop Saying You're Fine | Psychology Today

40% of children whose mothers experience baby blues suffer depression themselves by 16 | Mail Online

2011-06-17T06:26:00.000-07:00

40% of children whose mothers experience baby blues suffer depression themselves by 16 | Mail Online

It is reported that 1 in 10 mothers experience post natal depression. If you feel low after the birth of your baby please do seek support, you are not alone. Counselling can help and there is no shame in seeking help.

Avoid Destructive Mislabeling in the Classroom: Distinguish the Differences of ADHD, Anxiety, and Giftedness | Psychology Today

2011-06-17T05:15:00.001-07:00

Avoid Destructive Mislabeling in the Classroom: Distinguish the Differences of ADHD, Anxiety, and Giftedness | Psychology Today

I feel very strongly about not labelling people, particularly children. Labels are so often seen as a way out, a way to explain away the issues. At best this can give the person carte blanche to stop developing personally and at worst can give them real issues of self-esteem which haunt them for life.

A label does not provide all the answers for any one person and does, in my opinion, more harm than good.

This article highlights some of the ways in which labelling is unhelpful and how the label is often incorrect anyway!

Children Need to Learn to Define Grief

2011-06-17T05:14:00.001-07:00

Children Need to Learn to Define Grief | Psychology Today

The children at my son's school are facing the loss of a fellow student this week. It has brought into sharp relief for me what a community a school is and how everyone, even those that did not know the student personally are affected.

Children and young people need to be taught how to deal with these extreme emotions. The ability to name and understand them does not simply materialise in the face of such tragedy. I have seen children finding outlets for their emotions, from fighting to finding students to dislike, hate even. They dislike them because perhaps they did not get on with deceased or did not show enough remorse. All the anger and upset they feel over the loss of their friend is redirected at other people. Being cross with somebody is much easier, safer and a known experience.

Grief and learning to mourn are emotions that we all encounter at some point of our lives and helping children understand them, have an outlet for them and know how to work their way through them will really help them in the future.

Breastfed babies make better-behaved children - the New Scientist reports

2011-05-10T08:22:00.000-07:00

There seems to be little doubt that breastfeeding is best, yet it can be very hard for some mothers. If you are finding breastfeeding hard, want to continue, do go and seek the help of a breastfeeding counsellor. They are placed all around the country and can make the difference between being able to carry on and not.

http://www.newscientist.com/blogs/shortsharpscience/2011/05/breastfed-children-are-better.html?DCMP=OTC-rss&nsref=online-news

Are You Plagued With Self-Doubt? | Psychology Today

2011-05-09T08:44:00.001-07:00

Self-doubt can be a paralysing experience. Whether it comes from childhood experiences or those from later in life we are never to old too suffer from it. Dr McBride gives an interesting insight in this article, published in psychologytoday.com.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-legacy-distorted-love/201104/are-you-plagued-self-doubt

Are You a Mary Marvel or a Self-Saboteur? | Psychology Today

2011-05-09T08:44:00.000-07:00

Are You a Mary Marvel or a Self-Saboteur? | Psychology Today

Happiness linked to a gene that comes in long and short versions | Science | guardian.co.uk

2011-05-09T08:38:00.000-07:00

Happiness linked to a gene that comes in long and short versions | Science | guardian.co.uk

Who Am I Really? | Psychology Today

2011-05-09T08:30:00.000-07:00

Who Am I Really? | Psychology Today

Couples counselling - How can it help?

2011-05-06T06:19:00.000-07:00

Couples counselling - How can it help?

What can we learn from our four-legged friends?

2011-05-06T04:49:00.000-07:00

As I watch my dog lying on the floor, happily snoozing in the sunshine I wonder if he is chastising himself for for his latest misdemeanor or failure? When he chews up the post or chases the cat does he reprimand himself? Does he lie awake at night punishing himself because he didn't tidy his bed, chew his bone or practise his barking? He certaily doesn't look like he is feeling down or uncertain about himself to me!

We, on the other hand do exactly that! We are all masters of putting ourselves down and telling ourselves off! Our minds work all the time, and a lot of what we think about ourselves is not helpful or encouraging. We treat almost everybody else with a greater respect and kindness than we do ourselves. I suspect we may be the only species that has this characteristic!

We cannot turn our thoughts off but if we could learn a little from the behaviour of our four-legged friends.

By becoming more aware of our inner monologue and registering how many negative things we say to ourselves every day is a good place to start. Then, we can turn our negative self-talk positive. A little trick a friend of mine told me is to think the positive thoughts in the first person, for instance 'I've worked really hard today, cooked dinner, put the rubbish out etc' and the negative thoughts in the third person. For instance 'Karen didn't put the rubbish out today; Karen bought a take away'. Doing this takes some of the judgement and emotion out of those thoughts and can help us to be kinder to ourselves. We are not berating ourselves for those actions, merely noting that they happened.

We may not be able to turn off our thoughts, and nor would we want to, but we can learn a lot from the attitudes of our four-legged friends and perhaps feel better about ourselves in the process!

BACP Media Centre - Diet link to bipolar disorder

2011-05-06T01:57:00.000-07:00

BACP Media Centre - Diet link to bipolar disorder

BACP Media Centre - Dieting linked to eating disorders

2011-05-06T01:56:00.000-07:00

BACP Media Centre - Dieting linked to eating disorders